I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, I’ve written this post, and had a hard time hitting publish. I think more than any other health or fitness matter out there, working on my mindset has been the most challenging. Letting go of perfection, embracing my being, meeting myself where I am at, and just taking action is a constant struggle. This is me working on it.
It has been almost 7 months now that I gave birth to the love of my life! Here we are 7 months later and I am still not at my pre-pregnancy weight or fitness level, I’m not the fit mom I dreamed I’d be at this point. I’ve come to terms lately with it. I am learning to love the body I have right now, and am finally at a place where I feel like I can put some real consistent energy into my fitness routine. This is my journey, I hope you can learn from it, resonate with it, or get inspired by it.
Being a mom is one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs I will ever have. Most of the time, being a fit badass is the farthest thing from my mind. This is a hard thing to admit for someone who works in the fitness industry. I took a personal trainer job at 12 weeks after Conor was born. I wasn’t really looking, but it just kind of happened. This was my first time to train in a large gym. I was a little nervous to train, because I still wasn’t trained myself, I didn’t feel like I belonged there. Who wants a trainer that isn’t in tip-top shape? I remember feeling very self-conscious and making sure to tell all my clients that I had just had a baby, and frequently remind them of that. I felt ashamed for not being at the top of my game in fitness. It kept me from writing this blog, from sharing my journey, from really going for what I want.
Recently, my mindset has changed. I realize that I am not training elite athletes, I don’t aspire to train elite athletes. I want to train people like me, people who want to go on the same journey I’ve been on/am on right now. People who want to live a little longer, look a little better in their clothes, have the energy to keep up with their kids/grand kids, want more energy, and just generally want to feel better about themselves. It think anyone out there can agree that they exercise for at least one, if not all, of these reasons. I want my clients to know that I am right there with them, and that I very much understand the struggle. I want to keep them accountable, as much as they keep my accountable.
Like I said before, I am starting to get in a consistent and focused routine as far as my training goes. I’m feeling happier, I can zip up my pre-pregnancy jeans, and I have the energy to keep up with an almost 7 month old who’s learned to crawl. My nutrition isn’t on point, breastfeeding makes it hard. It shouldn’t, and that’s a sad excuse, but working out and breastfeeding makes me want to eat all the things! It will get there, and I work on it a little everyday, and don’t get down on myself. I think punishing and feeling guilty for the food we eat creates 99% of the disordered view many people have with food.
I’ve recently quit my job at the gym and am focusing more of my energy into doing online training and nutrition coaching. I’ve already got a couple of clients and it’s going really well! I am creating programs that really fit and tailor to their busy lives. The added on nutrition coaching is a big hit too! I plan to start doing some in-person small group training in January. In the meantime, I am working on some extra certifications and always learning about how to improve the health, fitness, and lives of those around me.
I don’t want to say that I will ever get back to where I was before, because I’ll never be the person I was before Conor came along. I can only say that I will be a happy, healthy, strong mom who is taking care of herself and her family.